I like the style you took with this subject. It's not typical that you simply find something so concise and informative.

Thank you for our coaching session! My brain was a jumble, I felt pulled in a few different ways and you gave me concrete advice, steps to follow, homework (gee--thanks...actually...really thanks!) and made me accountable--by your follow up.
A few weeks later and you write this. Your article reminds me that when our children are younger, we often praise them for their small achievements and make a great deal of fuss over them. For example: when your child begins to walk-or attempts it: we are there with constant encouragement and support. We want them to succeed. Sometimes it feels as if we "will" them to walk. Another is example is when we are teaching them to ride a bike.
Some where along the way a disconnect happens. We as parents forget to encourage our Children often and on the little things. Somehow we unconsciously associate our Teens as grownups, we believe they don't need our encouragement and praise as often, but in reality, they require it like they require vitamins to grow. The praise is for their inner growth--their soul development.

Am I making much sense?

Last night I went back to re-read again your divalicious words! I started praising my teen! He at first looked at me weird--you know the look--but then he started to smile when he saw I was genuine. Authentic. He glowed all night! AND he was super helpful and happy to help me prune the trees. No prodding, no 'lets make a deal', none of the 'bugging' was required to have him pitch in and help. He wanted to take over, to show me what a great job he could do. WOW! He did too! My Crape Myrtles look oh so fabulous! I would post a pic, but it's not an option. Yes, I took a picture of him doing the the amazing job & the finished product. When he was a child I took zillions of pics of him doing the smallest feat. I stopped taking those pictures...picking up the camera again last night reconfirmed your words...his smile tells the story!
I'm not saying my teen suddenly has changed...but there is positive change because I CHANGED how I interact with him. I'm going to be catching him doing fabulously awesome from now on!!
Merci Beaucoup!

Has ANYONE else tried this? What happened? I'm dying to know. yes, I know, I'm nosy. Ok, inquisitive sounds better...so, tell me...

Wow!!
I love the way you write!! Your message comes out loud and clear!! You have done what most writers struggle to do/---you've brought the reader thru several emotional points. I laughed, sighed, nodded my head in agreement, had an aha moment, teared with both sadness and joy and felt the story was relateable to any parent whatever their child's age.

You so rock diva!!!!

Thanks Sue! I continue to be so inspired and passionate in working with parents on skills training...although the new phrase is "coaching". I remember with a big smile the many parenting classes we co-facilitated....you too, were so amazing at helping the families progress. I will never forget the many shifts we witnessed and the progress made in the hundreds of families we served. It is those shifts that bring me such inspiration and bliss. It is amazing to see the extraordinary result that take place by simply implementing a parenting plan in conjunction with offering support and guidance. I am beyond excited about my work and am forever grateful to have you as a friend. xoxo

Wow Dabney! I love the new site and I love that you are still working with families and parenting skills. Yet another of your many talents! I have always been inspired by the way you worked with families and helped parents create calm, supportive, loving environments from what often seemed like lost causes. I know the foster parents you worked with, who had taken in truly emotionally disturbed children, were forever grateful for your guidance and support. I remember many conversations with parents you had worked with who were nothing short of amazed by the progress made in their lives. It still amazes me that its been more than 15 years since we first met at the group home. I am sure you will continue to be an awesome guiding force in the lives of many more families. Keep up the good work!