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June 22, 2011

About Last Night ~ Social Media Manners and the Bully ~

 

I have been hosting the Social Media Manners chat for over one and a half years, and have enjoyed every single moment of building a community of people who value positive interactions on social media.

About Last Night…

Last night our guest for our live chat was Klout.  As most of us know, Klout has become the industry standard for online influence measurement.  Most of us value our ability to use social media effectively and we tend to take such measurements seriously.

Typically in the chats that I host, I value that the hour is not about my guest, or me but about the community.  The hour is about you, the individuals who allowed our community to become “US”.   For most chats, I will come up with a list of questions for my guest, and encourage your questions throughout the chat as well.  This allows you to engage and be heard.

Given the recent changes Klout has made, I knew I needed a plan to avoid confusion and to produce an hour where all concerns and questions could be addressed.   I asked for questions in advance and heard from many of you and was able to compile a list of questions that covered your concerns.

My goal was to avoid having our guest being inundated with hundreds of replicated questions. I announced our new format for the night many times prior to and during the chat.

Most of you followed the plan and I appreciate it.  In doing so you showed great respect to our guest and our community.  Respect in all relationships is key and a very core component to online success.

About Last Night…

Often, when boundaries are set and new rules are instituted, there are idivdiduals who will resist change, dismiss the boundaries and take it personally if they are asked to do modify their behavior.  As in all cases, this is about the person resisting change, not the actual changes being made.  When one is immature, reactions are often misplaced and amplified.   Just as the child who is given a cookie each day and then suddenly given carrots… what happens?  Think about it.  One word.  Tantrum.

Tantrum.  During our chat last night, we had a member of our community do just that.  I was shocked and dismayed, as this member of our community is one whom I have engaged with and connected others to.

What occurred was this; in attempts to gently send a reminder to stay on course with our format during our chat, I simply sent this tweet….

”Shhhhhh, hold your questions until the end. xo”

In return, this individual created a blog post.  In reviewing timelines, one can easily see the intent was clear.  The objective was to write the post and deliver it to our stream before our chat was over.   The post was titled….

“I was Thrown out of a Twitter Chat”

In reading my message again, I am not clear as to how my words could be interpreted as “Throwing someone out of a twitter chat”.  I was simply sending a reminder to hold questions until the end of our chat. In this case specifically, I knew that the questions being posed to our guest were on my list and I wanted to allow our guest to continue with her amazing content without disruption.

Let me be clear.  I at no time asked anyone to leave our chat and in no way felt it wrong to ask a member of our community to respect the format for our planned event which I prepared and moderated.

To leave our chat to write a post to defame my brand and our community was a breech of the very core values of which I speak to.  Such actions showed an ultimate act of disrespect, and I view such as an example of extreme immaturity and very poor Social Media Manners.

To act out of anger with intent to humiliate and diminish my professional standard, and then laugh and take joy in the fact that many of us were offended was disrespectful beyond measure.  To outwardly lie in a public blog post and say one was “thrown out of a chat” coupled with further untrue accusations was legally and ethically wrong.

About Last Night…

To the members of our Social Media Manners community, I thank you for your support and your defense of the words posted in the blog discussed and disrespectful tweets.   I appreciate that many of you are choosing not to respond to this person’s mentions or read the post as in doing so, we will continue to give this bully type behavior the intended results of increased web traffic.  In fact, in giving mention to such a person on twitter, regardless of the reason, we learned that our high Klout scores will in fact, give this person a score increase.

As I have stated many times ~ to bully another person on or off line is unacceptable.  However, we are only able to control our REactions to another’s actions.   I do believe in accountability however and feel strongly that one should not be allowed to simply post non-truths as a result of hurt feelings, grudges and tantrums.   Often accountability comes in many forms.  Legal, Social and yes…even Karma.  Time will tell as to what form accountability takes in this situation.

About Last Night…

Beyond the dissidence of last night, I learned much.  I learned I was valued.  I learned I was respected.  I learned what really matters is that in coming together each week as a community; we have formed a family and partnership making millions of impression in regard to Social Media Manners each week.

Let’s continue to focus on the amazing things we share and learn together.  Together, we have built an amazing community and surrounded ourselves with leaders in our industry and relationships we respect.

Let’s release the bully.  As in the playground of our childhood, when the bully is ignored…he will simply stomp off and target another group.

Goodbye Bully….  You don’t live here anymore.

 

 

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March 2, 2011

The Lessons Learned when Falling in Love with What you Do

Hello my Fabulous Friends!

I love to learn new things about myself and tend to think deeply after experiencing success or disappointment of any kind.

Yesterday, I had the most amazing experience speaking to a class of Social Media students at Syracuse University.  I had so much fun and was beyond inspired by such an amazing group of our younger generation.  As I spoke to them via Skype, I could see them all and in that moment, I knew one thing for sure…I was looking at our future and our successful leaders of tomorrow.

I was impressed with the magnitude of learning that is taking place on such an important topic within the walls of Syracuse University.  However, what I found truly remarkable was the learning that was taking beyond those walls and into the world of Social Media.

Educating are children and youth on Social Media as Syracuse University does, should be looked upon as a model for all our school systems and Universities.  Instruction is critical for our children and youth and it is critical within your world as well.  If you run a business, it is vital to your success, and if you are a parent, it is your responsibility to educate yourself so you may guide your child appropriately.

Many individuals and business owners are struggling to learn Social Media organically via trial and error.  When it comes to Social Media and all things related to online success most adults tell me they feel like the world is spinning and they choose to ignore online communities and tools completely.

The world is moving quickly and many of you are feeling stressed.  I am not and I will tell you why.  I have embraced the changes.  It is my mantra…remember?  We can get bitter or better.  What is it going to be?  When I was uncertain, I hired a coach and learned the process. I took responsibility and spent hours upon hours reading articles and researching tools, and I still do.  I empowered myself with knowing the how and the why of online communities and social marketing.  I embraced the new, the unknown and the opportunity to bring my business further success.  I owned it.

Empowering yourself with knowledge, during anytime of uncertainty allows you to look into the face of fear and say, “Back off, I embrace my power”.

By claiming my power, I found success.  Through Social Media alone,  I monetized my Coaching business for one year with only a Facebook personal profile page and a twitter account.  For that first year, I had no website and no advertising.  Every single client found me on Facebook, personal page, not a business or fan page.  I took Facebook from Scrabble to a monetized business because I took inspired action and did not let my fears hold me back.  It is that simple. Social Media is not a trend, but an amazing marketing process available for free that works if done well and correctly.

I have evolved into a Social Media success and a leader in my industry.  Many influence scores will show statistics and measures of “proof” that I am successful.  I am now consulting for small and large business and many people look to me for answers within Social Media communities.

However, how I really “owned”  and knew for certain that I had found success and have the ability to educate and lead others, is when I realized that I am having so much FUN doing what I LOVE.  That is how I measure success.  I claimed that true success feeling yesterday when I fell in love with speaking to a group of college students.  I will be forever grateful to my “Cuse” friends for allowing me to feel the true “Fun” in what I am doing in regard to my Social Media work.

Outside of my personal relationships and family,  my first love is the work I do to empower women and watching them claim their magnificence.  I will always be in deep love with my Diva work and will never give it up.   In my Social Media Business, I find that I continue to use the many “Diva Tools” that I toss into my coaching services provided to my Diva Clients.  In both lines of  work,  the focus is learning how to build and maintain successful relationships and to believe in what you do and who you are.

Remember, if you do not love who you are or what you do, you will not be able to build a brand, a business, a family or life. So take a nice Diva Scrub, wash away the toxic belief of others and release all who do not support, encourage and believe in you.  Toss on your Diva Dust to help you sparkle and soar.  I give you my Diva Promise…if you take my advice and follow my lead, you will be slipping into some very fabulous shoes and prepared to walk into your magnificence!

Go! Divas! Go!

xoxo

Dabney

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