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Hello Divas!
Many of my clients struggle with toxic relationships. How do you protect yourself and avoid unhealthy relationships? I wanted to share a post of mine that was very popular when published in MOMeo Magazine. Take a look and let me know your thoughts!
xoxo
Dabney
Hello my Fabulous Friends!
I love to learn new things about myself and tend to think deeply after experiencing success or disappointment of any kind.
Yesterday, I had the most amazing experience speaking to a class of Social Media students at Syracuse University. I had so much fun and was beyond inspired by such an amazing group of our younger generation. As I spoke to them via Skype, I could see them all and in that moment, I knew one thing for sure…I was looking at our future and our successful leaders of tomorrow.
I was impressed with the magnitude of learning that is taking place on such an important topic within the walls of Syracuse University. However, what I found truly remarkable was the learning that was taking beyond those walls and into the world of Social Media.
Educating are children and youth on Social Media as Syracuse University does, should be looked upon as a model for all our school systems and Universities. Instruction is critical for our children and youth and it is critical within your world as well. If you run a business, it is vital to your success, and if you are a parent, it is your responsibility to educate yourself so you may guide your child appropriately.
Many individuals and business owners are struggling to learn Social Media organically via trial and error. When it comes to Social Media and all things related to online success most adults tell me they feel like the world is spinning and they choose to ignore online communities and tools completely.
The world is moving quickly and many of you are feeling stressed. I am not and I will tell you why. I have embraced the changes. It is my mantra…remember? We can get bitter or better. What is it going to be? When I was uncertain, I hired a coach and learned the process. I took responsibility and spent hours upon hours reading articles and researching tools, and I still do. I empowered myself with knowing the how and the why of online communities and social marketing. I embraced the new, the unknown and the opportunity to bring my business further success. I owned it.
Empowering yourself with knowledge, during anytime of uncertainty allows you to look into the face of fear and say, “Back off, I embrace my power”.
By claiming my power, I found success. Through Social Media alone, I monetized my Coaching business for one year with only a Facebook personal profile page and a twitter account. For that first year, I had no website and no advertising. Every single client found me on Facebook, personal page, not a business or fan page. I took Facebook from Scrabble to a monetized business because I took inspired action and did not let my fears hold me back. It is that simple. Social Media is not a trend, but an amazing marketing process available for free that works if done well and correctly.
I have evolved into a Social Media success and a leader in my industry. Many influence scores will show statistics and measures of “proof” that I am successful. I am now consulting for small and large business and many people look to me for answers within Social Media communities.
However, how I really “owned” and knew for certain that I had found success and have the ability to educate and lead others, is when I realized that I am having so much FUN doing what I LOVE. That is how I measure success. I claimed that true success feeling yesterday when I fell in love with speaking to a group of college students. I will be forever grateful to my “Cuse” friends for allowing me to feel the true “Fun” in what I am doing in regard to my Social Media work.
Outside of my personal relationships and family, my first love is the work I do to empower women and watching them claim their magnificence. I will always be in deep love with my Diva work and will never give it up. In my Social Media Business, I find that I continue to use the many “Diva Tools” that I toss into my coaching services provided to my Diva Clients. In both lines of work, the focus is learning how to build and maintain successful relationships and to believe in what you do and who you are.
Remember, if you do not love who you are or what you do, you will not be able to build a brand, a business, a family or life. So take a nice Diva Scrub, wash away the toxic belief of others and release all who do not support, encourage and believe in you. Toss on your Diva Dust to help you sparkle and soar. I give you my Diva Promise…if you take my advice and follow my lead, you will be slipping into some very fabulous shoes and prepared to walk into your magnificence!
Go! Divas! Go!
xoxo
Dabney
It’s Time to Divorce Like a Diva!
On the day that my husband of 15 years moved out of our home, I sat in my friend’s whirlpool tub … jets soothing my body … glass of wine in hand (it was 9:30 in the morning but it was five o’clock somewhere). My good friend had come to my house and taken me to hers and “cared” for me. She did this so I wouldn’t be home when “he” packed his things. As I sat there with the bubbles swirling around me, I saw a plaque on her wall. It said, “Pull on your big girl panties and deal with it.” I knew at that moment that I had found my mantra. That is what I would do. I would find my power, I would not get bitter, I would get better. I would in fact, I told myself, Divorce like a Diva!
I made it through the day … I had been preparing for it for years. You heard me … I said years. Mr. Ex and I had been in therapy during those years and remained in therapy for months after he moved out. Our goal: To have a healthy divorce. So, I was prepared — I was ready — and we made the choice together.
Years later, I find myself staring at that same plaque that now rests on my desk. Each day, I am inspired by the words. Each day, I am thankful that my family, by choice and hard work is experiencing a healthy divorce.
More importantly, I now find myself in the role of being a successful life coach to other women who are now navigating their own journey of divorce. I am on a mission to “Change the world one Diva at a time.”
What does that really mean? Let me share my definition of the word Diva, as I use it in all of my work. I define a Diva as a strong and fabulous woman who believes in herself, her strengths and her talents. She knows what she wants and goes after her dreams with integrity. She is loving, compassionate and supports and encourages healthy relationships. A true diva is open to healing, growing and defining her life on her own terms.
I am passionate about helping women just like you, find their power and walk out of the role where they play victim to their divorce and into their own magnificence. You see, we all have a choice when faced with difficult situations. We make the choice to get bitter or get better. It is choice you must make. It is really that simple.
In my work, I often see adults who continue to experience the trauma of their parent’s divorce. I have come to realize that is not only the divorce that causes trauma, which affects children into adulthood. Yet, it is the way we as parents handle the divorce, and our reactions to it, which matter most. It is this pain that adult children of divorce still experience into adulthood. The continued trauma is in reaction to parents who were unable to handle their loss and turned it into anger, rage and depression. Of course, all of these factors significantly affect children and their development in childhood and often into their adult years.
Divorce will impact our children, that is certain. If we are careful — aware of our grief, our pain, the anger — and chose to address our issues and take responsibility for our emotional health, divorce will have a far less impact.
In both my group coaching course and my private coaching practice, I tell my clients they have Diva Wings… they have the ability to soar. It is by letting go of the past that they will be successful. By letting go of the pain and the anger, a person will make room for feelings of happiness and joy. It will be difficult work, and this is where the big girl panties are necessary. PULL THEM UP! Take your power back. It is important for you and your children.
So it is again the words on the plaque that I look at on my desk that draw me in. The plaque that my friend gave me on that painful day several years ago, as I sat in the tub, bubbles swirling around me. At that moment, I knew how I would handle my divorce and now I want you to know how you can handle yours.
Put on your Big Girl Panties and Deal with It!
Go! Divas! Go!
xoxo
Dabney
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